It is hard to believe the adventures and lessons of the last two or so weeks. I am thankful for each new day and birthdays make me thankful for each year and I have made it to another year. God knows how many more I have, but for now I am responsible for making the most of my time here.
My birthday fell on good Friday this year (the first time I can remember that happening) and another first was a funeral on my birthday. God knew about this long before any of us did...my aunt that retired to Tennessee was sent to ICU in Knoxville after several tests at their local hospital, and only a week later they had exhausted all of the treatment options and my uncle had to make the hard decision to remove life support. She was admitted with an awful migraine and had leukemia that wasn't found until the first hospital did blood work. Migraines were a usual thing for her and none of us imagined there was clot on her brain causing the headache. At UT Knoxville they were treating her for the leukemia and watching the clot to see if it was going down. Unfortunately it was not, and a neurosurgeon had to perform surgery in hopes of relieving the pressure. The low white count and platelet count was made worse by the chemo and surgery was not advisable, but the only option. Sadly she came out of surgery on life support and was gone shortly after it was removed.
None of us know the number of our days and my aunt lived life to the fullest and enjoyed life. My uncle is my mother's younger brother. They have always been close and we spent several Christmases that I remember with him in Florida before he married. My mother is able to remain composed in just about any situation and this was no different. She was there to help my uncle through this and get through the first few days alone.
I was able to drive myself up there the next day with minimal pain, even though I am still recovering from my surgery. God has blessed me with a servant's heart and I am fulfilled when I can serve others. I spent the next day getting all of the photographs together and ready for the funeral on Friday. What a blessing for me to be able to use my talents for others. After everything was over and the 20 or so people had left the house, mom and I began the work of cleaning out and trying to organize things to help my uncle ease into this new chapter (Several times we talked about the chapters he has already closed in his life and this is the start of something new). It gave me peace knowing that he will be alright, and getting to know his neighbors that live on the mountain are there to help with anything he needs. They are a great 'family' that all live there because they are retired and enjoy the mountains. (many of them also retired from Florida and from law enforcement, just like my aunt and uncle) I was able to call and make changes to the wireless bill and get a higher speed internet up and running for my uncle. I am blessed to have this time without the burden of work where I can absorb God's lessons and be a help.
I have also gained a new four legged friend named Lily. I was able to rescue her from the Newport animal shelter in TN. Her owner couldn't keep her where they moved to in TN. She is a white, four year old, miniature poodle that had some matting and fleas that were taken care of at the groomer. She is leash trained, house trained, crate trained and loves to ride in the car. Her temperament is mild and sweet. She is an excellent guard dog and follows me around wherever I go. We have been walking around the complex a lot and I am in love with her. I am so thankful that we met up when we did and she has a forever home now.
I continue to be thankful for the blessings in my life and His continued healing.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Blessings
It has been so long since I have had the energy to post. You learn to conserve energy however you can when you live with an autoimmune disease.
I finally have hope of getting my energy levels back up. My regular physician referred me to a hematologist after my blood count and iron levels were off. He has scheduled me for an iron infusion this Tuesday...I may begin to feel even more like myself! What a blessing!
I also have a very good friend that is an oncology nurse that is very familiar with iron infusions. She is a blessing!
I was able to celebrate Palm Sunday at church this morning and was blessed by an understanding of passover. My church family is such a blessing!
I am surrounded by friends that care so much for my health and remind me that God's plan is in place and he provides everything we could ever need. So thankful for the wisdom brought into my life. I am blessed with the best friends ever!
I continue to heal everyday and feel better from surgery. There may in fact be more surgeries in my future, but right now my focus is on getting better. One day at a time...Living with a chronic illness is a blessing that has humbled me and taught me to accept my my portion and my cup and be thankful even in the worst circumstances.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
I am blessed that prayer works and that the Healer works in ways we will never understand. Easter has and always will be my favorite holiday. This Easter I am the most thankful for the abundant blessings in my life! Everyone was created to be a blessing to someone here on earth and everyday is a chance to receive and to be a blessing.
I finally have hope of getting my energy levels back up. My regular physician referred me to a hematologist after my blood count and iron levels were off. He has scheduled me for an iron infusion this Tuesday...I may begin to feel even more like myself! What a blessing!
I also have a very good friend that is an oncology nurse that is very familiar with iron infusions. She is a blessing!
I was able to celebrate Palm Sunday at church this morning and was blessed by an understanding of passover. My church family is such a blessing!
I am surrounded by friends that care so much for my health and remind me that God's plan is in place and he provides everything we could ever need. So thankful for the wisdom brought into my life. I am blessed with the best friends ever!
I continue to heal everyday and feel better from surgery. There may in fact be more surgeries in my future, but right now my focus is on getting better. One day at a time...Living with a chronic illness is a blessing that has humbled me and taught me to accept my my portion and my cup and be thankful even in the worst circumstances.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
I am blessed that prayer works and that the Healer works in ways we will never understand. Easter has and always will be my favorite holiday. This Easter I am the most thankful for the abundant blessings in my life! Everyone was created to be a blessing to someone here on earth and everyday is a chance to receive and to be a blessing.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
How did I get here?
I know I am exactly where I should be in my life, but I still end up some days wondering why me? Why do I get to live in almost constant pain? How did surgery become my only option at 28?
I will never know why, but each day I get out of bed and hope for the best. I find comfort in the internet community I have discovered. People that completely understand the disease and all the physical and emotional pains that come along with a chronic illness.
This particular blog, by an awesome AS advocate is a perfect description of the way each and every day feels:
http://hurtingbuthopeful.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/the-truth/
One day there will be a cure and if not, at least a better understanding of the disease and how to live a normal life with the disease.
I will never know why, but each day I get out of bed and hope for the best. I find comfort in the internet community I have discovered. People that completely understand the disease and all the physical and emotional pains that come along with a chronic illness.
This particular blog, by an awesome AS advocate is a perfect description of the way each and every day feels:
http://hurtingbuthopeful.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/the-truth/
One day there will be a cure and if not, at least a better understanding of the disease and how to live a normal life with the disease.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Everyday is a new day
My mom has gone home for the weekend...this is the first time I have been alone since before my surgery. I still have my limitations but I can do a lot more than I could three weeks ago when I came home from the hospital. So happy to have been home and recovering as well as I have been.
Unfortunately, I have developed a sinus infection and have been suffering from the effects of blood loss during surgery. Any type of infection is never good for AS and it can keep me from starting my meds in the next few days. So thus begins even more meds...antibiotics for the infection and iron for the loss of red blood cells. I hate feeling as sick and run down as I have been.
I am also blessed beyond belief. Last Friday I got to see the sweetest baby and have dinner with two of the greatest friends I could ask for. Monday I got a visit from two of my favorite coworkers and they brought an extravagant dinner for mom and me...Wednesday I got a St. Patrick's day surprise from another wonderful friend (everything was green and yummy). Thursday's dinner cam with visitors also. The visits make all the difference to me. The blessings continue as I have visitors all weekend. Still a long road ahead, but it gets easier with the thoughtful, loving people in my life.
Unfortunately, I have developed a sinus infection and have been suffering from the effects of blood loss during surgery. Any type of infection is never good for AS and it can keep me from starting my meds in the next few days. So thus begins even more meds...antibiotics for the infection and iron for the loss of red blood cells. I hate feeling as sick and run down as I have been.
I am also blessed beyond belief. Last Friday I got to see the sweetest baby and have dinner with two of the greatest friends I could ask for. Monday I got a visit from two of my favorite coworkers and they brought an extravagant dinner for mom and me...Wednesday I got a St. Patrick's day surprise from another wonderful friend (everything was green and yummy). Thursday's dinner cam with visitors also. The visits make all the difference to me. The blessings continue as I have visitors all weekend. Still a long road ahead, but it gets easier with the thoughtful, loving people in my life.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Bad Days
I am lucky to have had all of the success that I have in my recovery, but the past three days have been bad ones. I awoke this morning to the ACC financial crimes detective calling and telling me all the info he needs to follow through on my police report...Several weeks before surgery, an unwholesome person decided that he needed some items online (including a vacation) and charged them to my credit card...Not a very low stress experience when you have a disease that is triggered by and worsens with stress.
So needless to say I spent the next three hours of my day dealing with awful customer service and legalities about what they can't release to me, but wait...you allowed this person to purchase your product or service with a name that did not match the credit card and you are going to protect his rights. Gotta love it. Fortunately one of the companies, Webroot did actually end up being helpful after I had to leave a message for the legal department...and who ends up helping me, the sales department supervisor and one of his agents. I was previously told twice by two different sales agents that they could not give me any information even though it was my card charged. It makes me want to scream, but I just take a pain pill instead. That at least takes away the pain from surgery.
I also wish I could really be on leave and not have anything to do with school.(Not including the emails saying hello and checking on me, but the ones involving work) I think I really might stop checking my school email altogether, only problem is the mess it creates when it all gets backed up and I would miss the happy emails sating hello. I could just delete everything as it comes in and only respond to emails to my home email address.
I have so little energy as it is, I am frustrated to use it on trivial things that only up my stress level. I can't do everything I want to and if you know me, that is upsetting...if you don't, I have a real problem not being able to do everything under the sun and even more so asking people to do tings for me.
On top of exhaustion, the past three days have reminded me how much I hate this disease. Joints that you don't even realize you use everyday are affected by AS. Never ever take for granted your back and its ability to support your entire body. Everything hurts so bad, I just want to lay still, but by the time I am comfortable, my body has started working against me and is getting stiff.
I know I will make it through, but I still have 12 days until I get to restart my AS meds. Oh please let them go by fast.
So needless to say I spent the next three hours of my day dealing with awful customer service and legalities about what they can't release to me, but wait...you allowed this person to purchase your product or service with a name that did not match the credit card and you are going to protect his rights. Gotta love it. Fortunately one of the companies, Webroot did actually end up being helpful after I had to leave a message for the legal department...and who ends up helping me, the sales department supervisor and one of his agents. I was previously told twice by two different sales agents that they could not give me any information even though it was my card charged. It makes me want to scream, but I just take a pain pill instead. That at least takes away the pain from surgery.
I also wish I could really be on leave and not have anything to do with school.(Not including the emails saying hello and checking on me, but the ones involving work) I think I really might stop checking my school email altogether, only problem is the mess it creates when it all gets backed up and I would miss the happy emails sating hello. I could just delete everything as it comes in and only respond to emails to my home email address.
I have so little energy as it is, I am frustrated to use it on trivial things that only up my stress level. I can't do everything I want to and if you know me, that is upsetting...if you don't, I have a real problem not being able to do everything under the sun and even more so asking people to do tings for me.
On top of exhaustion, the past three days have reminded me how much I hate this disease. Joints that you don't even realize you use everyday are affected by AS. Never ever take for granted your back and its ability to support your entire body. Everything hurts so bad, I just want to lay still, but by the time I am comfortable, my body has started working against me and is getting stiff.
I know I will make it through, but I still have 12 days until I get to restart my AS meds. Oh please let them go by fast.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Good friends and Good Cookies
Since I was 7, Samoas have been the most divine cookie EVER. Who knows why? The just really are the best and even better frozen! I discovered after moving to Athens that they have a different Girl Scout cookie schedule than NW Georgia where I was raised and sold cookies for 11 years. They order earlier and get them in earlier over here!
So Friday night I got my Girl Scout cookies, delivered by two of my favorite people. I was so happy to see them and get to visit for as long as we did! Visits have been such a blessing as I recover and I think have made a huge difference. I am improving more than I ever imagined and can do so much more for myself than I expected a week and a half ago as I struggled to get out of the hospital bed. That was a defeating experience that makes walking around the house now even more gratifying. What a gracious God!
So Friday night I got my Girl Scout cookies, delivered by two of my favorite people. I was so happy to see them and get to visit for as long as we did! Visits have been such a blessing as I recover and I think have made a huge difference. I am improving more than I ever imagined and can do so much more for myself than I expected a week and a half ago as I struggled to get out of the hospital bed. That was a defeating experience that makes walking around the house now even more gratifying. What a gracious God!
March Rain
What a beautiful day today. I am not sure I want to go outside, but it looks pretty. I am so thankful for the rain last night; helps me sleep and my bed is now next to the window (so I have more to maneuver with the walker) and the rain was even louder than usual.
As much as I love the rain, it is painful. I couldn't open a bottle this morning(very frustrating) and getting out of bed was hard because of the stiffness. (thank goodness my pharmacy knows me well enough to know the 'easy open caps' notation is for real...I can't begin to imagine how to open child safety caps) I am truly blessed that the rain and weather doesn't affect me as badly as some others I know with AS.
I am truly blessed beyond belief and know that I serve a God who has brought me to a challenge to strengthen me and those around me. He is constantly showing me new things I never would have known without the disease.
As much as I love the rain, it is painful. I couldn't open a bottle this morning(very frustrating) and getting out of bed was hard because of the stiffness. (thank goodness my pharmacy knows me well enough to know the 'easy open caps' notation is for real...I can't begin to imagine how to open child safety caps) I am truly blessed that the rain and weather doesn't affect me as badly as some others I know with AS.
I am truly blessed beyond belief and know that I serve a God who has brought me to a challenge to strengthen me and those around me. He is constantly showing me new things I never would have known without the disease.
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