"Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see."No doubt I have faith in my God and hold out hope for His plan for the rest of my life. Right now, and for the last nine years He has given me the opportunity to have faith in His plan. At 19 I was diagnosed with RA(Rheumatoid Arthritis) and Fibromyalgia. Both diseases without cures that we 'monitor and manage', as the doctors like to say.
I still vividly remember the months before a diagnosis; I remember the embarrassment trying to explain the inability to move my arms above my head and then calling my sister after two days alone because I could not stand or walk for swelling in both hips. And after the diagnosis, the times in college where I spent explaining my limitations to professors with very awkward stares and my mother driving an hour and a half to pick me up from my apartment and take me to the doctor. 19 and being unable to drive is a hard pill to swallow...Still, I occasionally find myself wallowing in self pity for whatever reason (usually because I could not open the milk cap or a plastic bottle)
I was able to complete my undergrad in 2004 and go on to become something I love, an art teacher. While teaching full time I spent two years of sanity getting my masters in education. I actually miss being in school now, but can't imagine going back right now. I am engaged to the one person that is actually perfect for me. Another blessing that God ordained. We have not set a date after almost 2 years of being engaged, but the thought of dealing with all that getting married entails, I am content for now.
There have no doubt been good months, days and even years, but at 28 I have arrived at this place...facing surgery, injecting a biologic every week, increasing pill counts and continuous pain despite it all. Every day is an opportunity to continue hoping and having faith. I am surrounded by wonderful people and compassionate students, but very few actually understand what happens everyday. So I arrive here, on the internet sharing my story and always looking for others that are coping and living with these diseases. Others also have difficulty understanding that I do not want sympathy, maybe a little understanding sometimes, but mostly awareness that chronic conditions like these don't have a cure and they do not always have outward symptoms.
